the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
So much Jack, so little girl.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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