i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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