if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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