He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
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