i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
