I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
