i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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