I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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