turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
