Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
