Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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