On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize