She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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