Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
