So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
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