You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Randomize
