i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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