you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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