Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
