He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
