We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
