ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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