dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i wish my penis had a tongue
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
