mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
