Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
