We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
