Whatcha textin bout Willis?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
bring money and cleavage
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize