You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Pappa wants mamma naked
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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