On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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