don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
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