Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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