I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize