Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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