Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
it's like iHOP with fire
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
