he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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