I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
