Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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