Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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