so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
