he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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