what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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