i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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