I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I just googled if crying burns calories
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
