end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
