Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Randomize
