there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
It's just like the Real World with babies
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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