I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
