Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
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I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
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Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize