just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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