I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
