Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
