ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
