I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
