just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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