There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
50% drunk capacity currently
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
