im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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