You smell like stripper and shame
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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