Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
