this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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