I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
