just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
