So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
